I am feeling far more frustrated than is necessary even bordering on angry, yes big piggle has said mummy about a million times and it’s only 8am, yes he has spilt sticky juice all over the table and yes he nearly cried at the porridge which isn’t hot but I did dare serve it warm. It’s irritating, annoying, a constant drain on energy but as my husband reminded me the other day he is only three. So why do I feel so frustrated? And is everyone else feeling the same or are there mums out there who find some zen like inner peace in these circumstances!?
I find it difficult that it doesn’t appear that me or my siblings behaved as my son does and therefore there are no tried and tested methods from the mothership on how to handle it other than a good dose of patience (which potentially I don’t have enough of). He is full of beans, constantly on the go and has days where he does just lose it but refuses to sleep. But he’s bright, coming out with so many questions, comments and observations. As my grandma says, who was a primary school teacher, he is going to be a handful asking all those questions and with that big brain.
He does sit and play beautifully with Lego, making up intricate games and he loves looking through his magazine and having a bit of imaginary downtime. But my goodness he also enjoys a full on meltdown or just failure to listen. He, it appears, has little grasp of strangers personal space or indeed those around him as he goes careering through the supermarket (or any other public space) like a mad thing me chasing trying not to lose my shit. He can push me to my limits as I get annoyed with myself saying ‘no’ ‘don’t do that’ ‘stop it’ to be honest it’s bloody irritating and I would be ignoring it to! Some days out I hate the sound of my fishwife voice, I wonder if I’m letting him be free enough. But on other occasions it’s a requirement, how we haven’t ended up in a&e with some of the craziness he tries I don’t know.
So any parenting gems send them our way but until then….when I get a big smile and a kiss, when he plays with his brother and calls him a cheeky monkey, when he snuggles on my lap for a peppa pig or a story or when he is playing a full on imagination game with his Lego I am reminded….this frustrating, testing, push me to my limits three year old is mine. His character is all ours, for with the great comes the not so great. It’s all part of this weird parenting journey. I’m not always up for it and I have no clue what I’m doing but for now yes he is frustrating, yes I do get angry but yes he is amazing. Damn it….