We have a brilliant Facebook group locally where you can literally get the answer to everything. Quite often parenting questions are put out there with a whole host of great responses and support where there really isn’t an answer. Inspired by these here are my top piggle mysteries…
1. They will splash in the sea/pool, in fact any large or small body of water, but they won’t have their hair washed because that might go in their eyes or heaven forbid get their hair wet
2. Hair cuts are the devils work…they ignore wholeheartedly that if you scream and cry the hair will stick to their face, if they sat still it would not. Apparently it hurts to cut their hair off….what?!
3. “I don’t like broccoli” (insert any other non offensive food) even though I have eaten it for the whole of my weaned life until today
4. “I can’t, just can’t, ride my bike today” my legs are all of a sudden just too tired/sore/short/long I’m too big/small/scared
5. Mozzarella is a yucky cheese (except of course on pizza which I will eat in vast quantities)
6. Even if you cut their fingernails every day they grow at such a superhuman rate that they can try and gouge their eye out the next morning – thank goodness for integrated scratch mitts!
7. Choosing to create poonami in the most inappropriate places where baby changing facilities are limited and you didn’t bring a change of clothes for you or the baby as you had just popped out quickly. It has now leaked on your leg and all over the buggy (to be honest even with the change of clothes and all relevant changing equipment this is pretty traumatic)
8. They have run round more than you ever could and burnt far more energy however they can still wake up at 5am full of life “it’s light mummy its morning” clearly missing the purpose of black out blinds and clearly not understanding that before them on a weekend morning was definitely not before 9am
9. You clean their entire bodies with a pack of baby wipes after a simple lunch and find that everything they touch still gets sticky. You do the same to the poonami and yet when daddy changes the nappy later on he still finds a cling on
10. The plank….in Waitrose….because they want a packet of batteries?!
Love from Cheeky Chops Mummy (this at 6.30am today was my new name!)